What Makes a Gay Retreat Different from a Vacation?
Mike O'Connor
6/23/20252 min read
When people first hear about my retreats, they sometimes ask: “So is it like a wellness vacation?” I get the question. We travel somewhere beautiful, we eat well, we walk in nature. But no — a retreat is not a vacation. At least not the way I hold space for it and because we use somatic bodywork as a starting point.
A vacation is often an escape. A break from work, from stress, from routine. But a retreat isn’t about checking out — it’s about checking in. It's not about leaving your life behind, but about meeting it differently. People need to bring a topic that they’re interested in looking at, something they feel might be stuck, emotionally, mentally or physically.
We move, but not to get somewhere
In one-on-one Pantarei Approach somatic bodywork sessions, we work with what the body knows — which is often more clear than what the mind can articulate.
We don’t "fix" anything. We track sensation. We explore how emotions take shape in the body. We let the intelligence of the body have the mic for once. The client listens to their body from the inside and the hands of the practitioner listen from the outside. We both are interested to see what the body wants to say. The aim of the session is to connect the person with more info, clarity or direction. Or perhaps to let go if they've been holding too much.
One guest told me, the strength of the retreat is that these individual sessions give space for personal topics but also keeps one foot in the real world, though in this case the 'real world' is the beautiful landscapes of Azores. Another reflected that the physical release helped them rewrite emotional narratives. The landscapes help mirror and metaphor the internal processes each person is also navigating. The land is made from volcanic tension that released and now is full of geo-thermal flow and waterfalls.
This is not a reset — it’s a reweaving
Retreats can feel restorative, yes. But the kind of rest that emerges isn't about switching off — it's about letting go of what doesn’t need to be carried anymore. It’s not a reset button. It’s more like reweaving: placing your experience back into your life in a different order, with more space for breath.
And unlike a vacation, where the glow fades when the emails pile up again, what happens on a flow retreat can last. Because it’s not about what you consumed — it’s about how you grew and connected back with yourself. Something in you reorganized. Something in you feels less stuck and now more like you.